I have been thinking about some of the stories told by my clients over the years.
This particular story is one of my favorites.
I had a client booked for a colour and a haircut and she was
20 minutes late. Lets say her name is Ruth for privacy sake.
Ruth was never late so I knew that there was a good reason for
why she was not on time.As a Lawyer she had a great way of telling
me about her daily happenings in her home. Ruth's family was interesting
because her husband coming from a Jewish background and she
came from a United Church background. This particular day her
husband ( let's call him Joe) had been sent out to get some
groceries for the week.
Joe was strolling along in the store when he came across a Ham that was on sale.
He thought that Ruth and his girls would love (who were not Jewish)
a ham for supper so he placed it into his cart. Being Jewish, Joe would
not in public admit to eating pork but in the comfort of his home with his non- Jewish wife and family they would enjoy the Ham.So he rounds the corner and who does he see?
The Rabbi from his synagogue. In a panicked moment Joe grabs what
was the closest to cover the ham. Bananas and lots of them.
With his arm he scooped them from their place on the fruit
stand and covers the evil ham. The Rabbi see him , waves and comes rushing over.
How is you Mother? ( this all said with a Jewish accent)
How is your wife and daughters?
Good to see you
Say hello to your Mother
Say hello to your wife...
OK, so the Rabbi moves on as panic sets in. Joe wonders if the Rabbi
saw the ham and if his Mother would find out. The fear of Mom
was still there even after being married for 15 years, having children
and running a successful Law firm. A cold sweat broke out on his brow.
Looking down into his shopping cart he could not see the ham but there
was at least 20 large bunches of bananas.
Now what does he do? Priority was getting what he needed, get rid
of the large amount to bananas and get the heck out of the store with
out anyone seeing the stupid ham. As he rounds the corner to place
the bananas back on the stand Joe see his Mother's best friend.
Pinching his cheek like he was 10 years old she questions him about his life.
Now his palms are sweating. Joe answered all the questions but his
mind was on the ham. Goodbyes were said and he wonders away from the banana stand.
Now he remembers his wife saying something about an appointment.
What did she say about that again?
"I have to get rid of these bananas, " he says muttering to himself.
"Is the whole Jewish community out shopping today?", he wondered ,while
he waves with a forced smile to another family from the synagogue.
Rounding around the corner again towards the Banana stand again.
Now he is starting to feel dizzy because of going in circles and the
fruit and vegetable guy is looking at him strangely.
Ruth is stuck at home because the 2nd car is in the shop.She had told
Joe that she needed to be at the salon at a certain time and he had
assured her that he would be home long before she had to leave.
Joe had been gone to the grocery store for almost 2 hours.
Ruth's mind started to spin and she started to worry
He must have been in an accident, something is wrong.
Worrisome time rolls by and then she hears the garage door open.
Her husband walks in with 2 large bags of bananas, leaves to return
with 2 more bag, then 2 more. A total of 9 grocery bags filled with
bunches of bananas, plus the groceries that were needed for the week.
Oh, and the ham
Joe explained that every time he went to remove the large amount of
bananas from the grocery cart every Jewish person that he knew seemed
to be around the banana stand." What the heck are we going to do with
9 bags of bananas?" she yelled at him.
" My mom has a good banana bread recipe."
Shaking her head she grabbed the keys and rushed over to the salon.
As I applied her colour, Ruth shared why she was so late for her appointment.
I ended up crying because I laughed so hard about this story.
Ruth, Joe and their daughters did enjoy a great supper of ham that night
with scalloped potatoes and banana bread for dessert.
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